As you may now frighteningly be aware of, not all is right in the House Of The Mouse.
You have a current $4 billion intellectual property (Star Wars) that is now in the red (SOYLO: A SOY WARS STORY) after predictable declining profitability with each new film release that had been supported by over 40 years of dedicated fan loyalty, now completely pissed down the drain like a Weinstein potted plant.
The cash cow that
is was the Marvel MCU (that other $4b) is about to go in the same direction when Robert Downy Jr. and Iron Man is replaced with Captain Marvel and the ever so hot and spankabley feminine male-wallet-opening Brie Larson. (Hint: That's called snarky millennial sarcasm Bob. No boy is spanking anything to that femininity straight jacket that is Captain Marvel's "costume". Watch Wonder Woman in case you missed why that film absolutely smashed the box office.)
How did you get here?
How do you find yourself reading some random Nazi-white-nationalist (because my, and your, skin colour is now logical argument and proof we are Nazis), pro-man-masculinity-Europe-The-West blog on a friends TOR IP secured hacker laptop so the corp suits (i.e. lawyers, satan's demon spawn) and the vaginas (i.e. the Kathleen Kennedy feminists and rainbow pride mafia that has completely infected both Marvel and Star Wars) don't see that you are looking up "fake news" on why no one is buying the new fentanyl movies the mouse is peddling to the street kids like it's the greatest thing since Bruce Jenner announced he wants to feel like a woman.
Well... why don't we start with a brief recap of Marvel Studios and what they once were before we get to the complete shit show that is Star Wars shall we?
By 2005, Marvel Entertainment began planning to independently produce its own films and distribute them through Paramount Pictures. Previously, Marvel had co-produced several superhero films with Columbia Pictures, New Line Cinema and others, including a seven-year development deal with 20th Century Fox.
Marvel made relatively little profit from its licensing deals with other studios and wanted to get more money out of its films while maintaining artistic control of the projects and distribution.
Avi Arad, head of Marvel's film division, was pleased with Sam Raimi's Spider-Man films at Sony, but was less pleased about others. As a result, they decided to form Marvel Studios, Hollywood's first major INDEPENDENT movie studio since DreamWorks.
Wikipedia - Marvel Cinematic Universe
When we look at the first films to come out of The House Of Ideas before Marvel Studios was formed, we can begin to see why Marvel wanted more artistic and financial control - they knew what they had and they knew what could be built.
BLADE was actually a damn good film. Note as well it was a film that featured a black male lead and was, in my opinion, the film that truly began the Marvel movie train that was to follow. Note as well that in the dying days of the 21st century, no one batted an eye about a black man as leading actor in a role and character that was already cast as a black man, requiring a strong black male to be able to carry the film. Wesley Snipes was no slouch for putting butts in the seats of theatres in the 90's and the team up with Stephen Dorff made for one hell of a vampire slaying ride released just before Buffy took off and Twilight launched a decade later.
Hey Bob... did you know the BLADE franchise grossed over half a billion dollars worldwide in 2018 dollars - $591M on a budget total of $231.6M - with a black male lead in a Marvel superhero movie trilogy?
I really want you to let that sink in for a moment and here's why.
THOR: Ragnarok grossed a total of only $854 million (budget $180M)... a mere $250M more... in 2017... almost TWO decades after BLADE... with a tsunami of fan support and anticipation with two previous THOR movies and over a decade of prior MCU releases acting like crack-nip leading up to the Marvel geeks next hit of fandom in a dark movieplex. Yes, by a strictly dollar comparison, Ragnarok smashed the BLADE trilogy in terms of profit for a one shot film, but considering there was NOTHING, absolutely ZERO build up or anticipation for a Marvel superhero film NOT starring Thor, Captain America or Iron Man (the holy MCU trilogy) AND had a black male lead... is Ragnarok really that big of a success? How much of Thor: Ragnarok's box office performance/profit was built and utterly dependent on what came before it? After BLADE came the movies that built the buzz and excitement that led up to the future success of Marvel Studios launch in 2005.
Without the box office successes of BLADE, X-MEN and Sam Raimi's Spiderman (two Oscar nominations)... there would be no Marvel MCU Bob.
You don't start a brand new movie production studio on hopes and prayers. The suits (i.e. banks and venture capitalists) need to know you can show them the money. The success of spandex superhero movies was beginning, with better film & digital technology making it possible to show the boardrooms that there was gold in them thar comic nerd pulps.
Between 2005 and 2009 (when Disney acquired Marvel wholesale), Marvel Studios released the bedrock and foundation for all future success of the MCU franchise. The 2nd and 3rd Spiderman films, a great (in my opinion) Fantastic Four double shot and finally... the film that resurrected Robert Downey Jr.'s career...
Can you feel the excitement Bob?
Feel the testosterone?
Feel the yearning to embrace the male hero journey and archetype penetrating your very bones?
If you are a dude with balls between your legs, of course you will. You're a CEO. I doubt you are some cucked ANTIFA SJW begging for feminine attention in your life. This movie, having become (just like a comic book) the "first issue" in the MCU storyverse and a highly sought after and prized item on Amazon, is now being cast aside.
The Force is not the only thing that is female Bob, so is the future of the MCU and another $4b IP flushed down the drain for "girl power."
This... is what you will be banking the entire future profitability of the Marvel Cinematic Universe on Bob.
Yup. Take your time. Watch the whoooooole video. All the way to the end.
This is what the MCU's 2019 Captain Marvel is going to be.
This is the future Bob... billions and billions and billions of dollars in profit!!!
And all because someone you appointed to head Marvel Studios (or whoever is driving the creative and projects) has decided to replace hyper-masculinity and charm in Robert Downey Jr...
For a non-human, non-gender-ish, psychiatrist visiting, single-woman-cat-lady-pseudo-lesbian SJW.
Oooohhhh booooyyyy Bob.
Shit. You thought you had a problem with Star Wars? A franchise that at least allowed you to make back the $4b cost on FORTY PLUS YEARS OF BUILT UP FAN DEVOTION AND BLIND FAITH!!!
You can save Star Wars... maybe, I'm getting to it... but if you let Marvel Studios release the gigantic turd that will be Captain Marvel starring Brie Larson in 2019...
You will watch the red bleed on the share holders report like it's that time of the month... every day, all day, all year, 24/7/365.
You're fucked Bob. 100% shafted up the ass. You now have $8b total in intellectual properties hurtling at light speed for the graveyard in terms of future profitability. I know the Mouse is a big company, but even I doubt his smile and laugh can rescue your stock price from TWO failing financial lame ducks.
If you don't want this to happen to the MCU and Marvel Studios...
You better listen to The General.
Here's how to save Star Wars, the MCU and Disney from bankruptcy in 5 easy steps!
#1 - Heterosexuality
Ok Bob... let's start with the basics.
Aside from the absolutely bizarre YouTube autofill of "boys have a... period?!?!?" when I went looking for this classic Kindergarten Cop "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina." clip, your safest bet to return Star Wars to profitability and stave of Marvel disaster is to return to something rather quaint, old fashioned and now funnily enough also hate speech!
Masculine men. Feminine women.
Han and Leia
sitting in a tree,
First comes love, then comes marriage,
then comes Leia with a baby carraige.
It's tried and true Bob! I swear. There is something like... uhhhh... 98 pushing 99 percent of the human race who are heterosexual or something like that. LOTS of interest in this penis-meets-vagina stuff.
Have you ever sat down to watch George's original 6 films? Yea, the prequels were not that well liked, but they still sold like hotcakes in theatre and after. (And after TLJ, the fans who shit all over the prequels are now saying how good the story and acting were!) You will find a curious pattern to these movies... no faggots, lesbians or trannies. Not a whif Bob!!! I know! Weird eh? Just girls trying to avoid the romantic advances of men. Women looking all pretty and stuff in dresses and wardrobe that accentuate and celebrate the female figure while also being respectful and dignified. Men walking and talking like confident, in charge, powerful and thus attractive-to-women leading males. I know... soooo weird!!!
Just a bunch of guys running around going "pew pew pew" while hoping to score with Leia.
This is what you paid $4 billion to have the creative rights and licence to that is the entire cannon and legacy of Star Wars.
Did you notice that major plot twist in Episode VI when Luke figures out Leia is his sister?
BIIIIG hint there Bob on what audiences like and want to see.
#2 - Family
I know Bob. This looks a lot like that heterosexuality thing. Here's the kicker... that's how babies get made! And if you make a baby, you have a family. A family that has a mother and father... i.e. parents. Something the Star Wars fans that did buy the shit sandwich that was Jar Jar Abrams The Force Awakens were hoping to get the answer to about
Mary Sue's I mean Rey Rey's parentage in The Last Jedi. Leaving Rey without a Mom or Dad is kinda... well it's just plain weird to us cis-normies (that's heterosexuals again Bob).
Focusing on family should also be a slam dunk Bob. Disney IS family entertainment right?
Well... it was at one point in time. But when I watched THOR:Ragnarok to see a rainbow-fruitified Geoff Goldblum tease Thor only to watch Thor escape his captor through the "anus of the universe" by stealing his "orgy ship"... I'm beginning to have my doubts.
So too does my brother with his three kids. I'm pretty sure he took his oldest, my nephew, to see The Last Jedi and came out saying "I am NEVER spending another dollar in the theatre... it's ALL crap."
Lots of ticket sales there. Oh... and streaming services too at home.
But you have to give them what they want.
A respectable and heroic father and husband.
A loving and supportive wife and mother.
Kids who care about one another and show real human emotions, not the constant Family Guy snark of attention-deficit-one-liner-humour we get now from idiots who take nothing seriously.
Oh yea... taking life seriously. Parents tend to do that. They want story lines with a MORAL theme that helps teach their kids important life lessons.
#3 - Moral Truth & Justice
Good. Evil. Truth. Falsehood. The hero that fights for the former, the enemy that embraces and is destroyed by the latter.
You can't have a Star Wars story - or a Marvel superhero movie - without the black & white divide of right and wrong - a tale of morality and truth.
And while were it, talking about morality tales... you have to actually have a bloody God damn story. But I digress.
Again Bob... I know I am starting to sound like a broken record reminding you of this point but... you did buy not one, but TWO $4 billion dollar franchises that were built on this stuff - morals and good storytelling.
The current reverse-engineering of Star Wars is as clear as day. We are supposed to love and embrace the opposite of this. Diversity. Inclusion. No judgement. No good. No evil. A blending of both forces into a muddy soup of mediocrity and tolerance while avoiding ALL emotions and serious themes for retarded slap-stick chuckles where we never have to confront our humanity even once. The future is not just female, it is also amoral, of no emotion or sacredness and of absolutely no plot logic whatsoever!
It's a world of grey Bob and everyone hates grey skies.
We want the light. The truth. The good. To shine out and we want to teach that to our kids.
If you are going to treat the entire mythos of Star Wars like some gigantic joke... guess what?
You're going to lose your fans Bob... AND their money.
You keep doing this long enough... no amount of restructuring will bring them back.
And by them... I mean the penises that love this shit.
#4 - Thou shall make the masculine & male hero adventure & journey your main character and story arc.
Girls don't sell tickets Bob.
They never have, never will.
If you write a good female lead WITH a strong male romantic interest, maybe you will sell some tickets, especially if the guy is hot!!! (Again Bob, give Gal Gadot and Chris Pine a watch in Wonder Woman. This shit sells!!!)
One girl? A team of girls?
Flush it Bob. Millions upon billions. You might as well light that money on fire because that is all your are doing in the end.
Just look at how powerful and classic that image of Luke Skywalker is in Battlefront II. Oooopssss... probably should not have mentioned EA's Star Wars PR disaster before TLJ release. My bad. Hmmmm.... Battlefront also went with a female lead in that game as well. You had a good thing going taking the Empire's perspective but... boys don't want to play a girl in Star Wars. Especially another empowered I-can-do-anything-and-do-it-like-a-million-times-better-than-a-boy kind of character.
Do I need to refer you to Robert Downey being replaced by Brie Larson again in the MCU?
If you are going to have a female character, even a lead... make her human for fucks sake.
She has to have flaws. She has to go through... wait for it... character development. Growth. Maturity. Evolution.
So... it's not just that male leads on a hero's journey and good adventure storylines put buts in the seats... it's the story you develop around that archetype. You have to have a story Bob.
The proof of this will be the meteroric failure of Captain Marvel when you finally release it. She was a minor character. No fan following at all and a barely-there story. And you are pushing her to lead the MCU past phase four?
At least you could rely on a teaser of Luke at the end of The Force Awakens to bring buts into the theatre. It was the chance to see an old Luke do his thing in The Last Jedi that still had blind Star Wars fans buy tickets despite all the warning signs it was going to be complete shit. It was Luke that had many SW fans still trying to find some way to like The Last Jedi.
But in the end... shit is shit and Star Wars is now a dead brand walking.
If a brand like Star Wars can take that kind of beating before finally dying...
What do you think is going to happen to the cash cow that is the MCU and Marvel Studios when you trade Robert Downey Jr. for a blonde, androgynous dressed feminist who has nothing but disdain for western men and the male fans that make up it's base of profitability?
Which brings me to the last, and hardest, advice to save Star Wars.
#5 - Apologize, de-cannonize, re-boot.
Say your sorry Bob.
The buck stops at the top. You.
An open letter, nay YouTube video even, of you personally apologizing to the Star Wars fan base.
Say you were asleep at the wheel. You had no idea this cancer of cultural Marxism (yes, you will have to say it) had infected the Star Wars brand (and is creeping into the MCU if you want to avert the fears Marvel fans have).
Say you have listened intently and sadly to the lament of the fans. All of them.
Say that from this day forth, Disney is removing ALL new Star Wars movies from cannon post-Lucas.
You are going back to the beginning and to the old cannon treasure chest of Lucas approved Star Wars expanded universe.
You are going to start by remaking Episode IV: A New Hope with new young actors and all the amazing digital tech available as an act of humility and penance for the wrongs committed.
Line for line. Shot for shot. And... you will have George Lucas on staff to advise what he would have done on Episode IV if he had the tech that is available today.
You WILL cast Mark Hamill in the role of Obi Wan Kenobi to give him what the fans wanted in The Last Jedi... a respectful and honorable final act in the Star Wars saga that IS his legacy and his love.
Look at Mark Bob. LOOK AT HIM!
That is a broken man Bob. Broken by round-head Rian Johnson and that bitch Kathleen Kennedy.
If you want ANY chance of Star Wars fans forgiving you and trusting you to believe in Star Wars again... this is what you are going to have to do.
There is no easy way out of this Bob. You are going to have to own up and return to:
- heterosexual romantic norms
- traditional family role models
- conservative moral tales with a clear line between right and wrong, good and evil
- strong male and masculine lead chacters
- respectful women of feminine charm and grace with the human emotions of courage, strength and fighting for what's right that they are also capable of
You either return to what works and what sells Bob...
Or Disney... nay all of Hollywood... goes the way of Kodak.
Strength & Honor