What is the best way to go about getting them?
How do you best show to the world that you are a Man who has standards that others should respect and meet?
In this article, I break down setting a personal masculine standard into five key traits you can start building right now.
How you decide to clothe yourself says a lot about you. What I am talking about here is not if you are colour coordinated or up to date with the latest and forever changing 'style' in the men's fashion world.
What I am talking about is something far more simple, yet far harder to attain.
Having a wardrobe that, on any given day, you feel you absolutely OWN when out in public.
This is something you just don't see anymore, or very, very rarely. Look at any of the old Hollywood icons of masculinity back in the day and there is something just... a presence. It does not matter what they wear, you can always FEEL the projection of strength, honor and thus masculine respect for oneself. As the old saying goes...
You can put the suit on the man, but not the man in the suit.
Dressing better won't give you an increased masculine standard by itself, but as you begin to build one, better dress will increasingly and naturally follow. Setting a masculine standard in dress will be a reflection of who you are... NOT... what a girl, your parents, your boss, or especially the fashion industry feels you should be.
That said, their seems to be some aspects of men's fashion that are 100% impervious to feminist assault and will always be seen as being masculine.
Every man should own one.
It should be casual enough to be worn daily if needed, but also formal enough to announce to the world you mean business.
It should also be custom tailored. It should fit your body PERFECTLY. Of all your wardrobe, your suit will say to the world precisely how put together you are. The more attention you pay to detail of cut and fit, the more you will set a masculine standard that others will recognize and respect.
But we can't wear a suit every day right?
The boomers rebelled against the slacks, shirt and tie 'slavery' of the trad-con square norms of their parents generation, but what they were really saying is "We don't give a shit about our appearance or RESPECTABILITY."
This complete lack of a sense of self-respect in clothing when out in public is a fundamental reason Western society is in complete decline. By deciding that your wardrobe will be 100% casual/formal dress pants, you are announcing to the world you have respect for yourself and others should respect you as well.
Invest in footwear.
Not just dress shoes, but shoes that are NEW and don't look like they are going to fall apart. I don't think it needs to be said, but no running shoes. Runners, no matter how stylishly coordinated, are never masculine.
Far too many men neglect footwear in their wardrobe. Your shoes are the ONLY thing a woman will purposely, every time, look for and take note of. Again, we are not dressing for women, but what proper footwear signals is attention to detail. I.e. You are a man that is put together, a man that does not do things half ass, a man that looks at his life in totality and has not slacked off or got lazy about anything in it.
Go clothes shopping alone.
This will go against a lot of advice, especially from women.
While it may sound like a good idea to get feedback from others in how you look in the clothes you are looking to purchase, this is not YOU setting YOUR masculine standard, but someone else.
YOU... have to like what you see in the mirror.
No matter what you are wearing, clothes can only make the man if the man is there to be clothed in the first place.
By going shopping for a masculine wardrobe by yourself, you are forced to confront your external image to that of your internal one... alone. It is only you and the mirror. YOU... have to say that what you put on your body says to the world that you are a man. YOU... have to not just like, but LOVE what you see in the mirror. Even just asking yourself, "Does this make me look like a Man, capital M?", will begin to get your internal masculine fashion compass pointing in the right direction.
Will you make some fashion mistakes your first time out? Damn straight. Do you care? Not one fuck. Think on this deeply.
In time, what you wear won't even matter.
Which is at first paradoxical when I am asking you to dress better to have a masculine standard for yourself, but it will make sense with experience. As you become more masculine, as you set standards for yourself, you will no longer require OUTWARD reflection of this state, it will simply become a part of who you are, no matter what you wear. Naturally, the more masculine you become, you will gravitate toward more masculine standards in dress. The outer man will reflect the inner man. But until that time, your dress will play a large part in building a more masculine standard for your life.
If you want to research men's fashion, I highly recommend you do so. It will give you an idea of just how out-there 'masculinity' is becoming and only prove to you the need to be your own fashion compass as a man.
Your bearing, your posture, your comportment - how you carry yourself on a daily basis - is a trait of masculinity that has been lost.
Fitness therefore, is of primary importance to setting a masculine standard for yourself.
If you are fat and out of shape, you simply cannot command respect as a man. This is just plain fact.
You may be able to command respect in many areas of your life - career, finances, hobbies, material possessions, etc. - but at the end of the day, you take none of these things with you to bed with a woman. After a night of carnal pleasures with the feminine element, when you go to sleep, when you get up in the morning and look in the mirror, all you have is your physical body as a man to tell you you are a man.
Your being physicaly male is what allows you to become a man.
If you are not taking care of your body, what kind of man are you?
A strong body, bigger muscles, low body fat, flexibility, speed and agility. These are all classic and timeless markers of masculinity.
But being fit won't be enough.
You must carry yourself as a man.
A masculine bearing consists of both mental and physical traits.
Stand tall. Shoulders back. Spine erect.
Don't be rigid, be supple with tension (something excellent physical condition will give you without effort). Walk calmly, but with purpose. Be measured in your movements, but don't obsess over how others will perceive you.
Allow yourself to be comfortable and feel comfortable. (Which is why dress is important. What you wear will aid you in feeling comfortable when you go out in public.)
Most importantly when it comes to a true masculine bearing...
Hold your head held level, NOT high.
A level head is a key indicator of masculinity. That a man has a head of rational thought, of reason, and also of control over his emotional state. In short... he is a man of balance, of measure & mean and of authority over his life.
Don't walk into a room worried about how others will perceive you.
Simply walk erect and straight to your destination!
Smile if you wish or not, but never frown. While studies show that women are not attracted to men who smile (per se), and are instead attracted to the brooding bad boys, a proper masculine standard for facial expression is to simply be comfortable in your own skin.
Can you enter a room and simply be comfortably, calmly, present in it?
If you can, your face will take on neither smile nor frown, but simply one of contentment and peace, mixed with activity and energy. You are not moved to extroverted attention whoring and the need to be the life of the party. Nor are you the dour introvert wall flower who has not a single word to say to anyone unless you absolutely have to. You don't enter a room with the goal to dominate it as many a pathetic alpha male will do.
You won't have to dominate the room and other people in it "like an alpha" because you dominate yourself.
This is the delusional fallacy of the deified alpha male in the manosphere. The idea that the most dominant man in the room must be the top male. The man who feels the need to dominate others is weak precisely because he does not dominate himself. Women will of course pay attention to the loudest mouth in the room, but they know intuitively if the display is all projection, or whether there is real substance to it. The girls that don't are called "hot chicks" for a reason.
For the ego obsessed alpha male, the opinions of others (especially women) are life and death to him. He engages all 48 Laws Of Power to ensure he is the centre of attention and others know it. (Which is why women like this kind of man, he is behaving in a way they would themselves!) His opinion of himself is so low, that without the fear, the supplication, that reverence of those he considers lower than himself, his 'dominance' is blown away at the merest threat to it - i.e. any man he cannot dominate.
The key to a standard of masculine bearing is to know yourself, own yourself, and sit contently and quietly within yourself.
Perhaps I am biased being introverted myself to a degree, but all extroverts I have ever met (male or female) are externally oriented precisely because they have no interior anchor for their self-worth to begin with.
You may have encountered masculine bearing and been puzzled by it (it being so rare today). Such a man will look something along these lines. He is neither in a hurry to introduce himself, nor part from your presence once he does so. He will engage you in conversation as if he has known you your whole life, but never introduce himself or ask for your name because he is not concerned that he know you or you know him, but that you have been authentic with one another in your interaction.
He will carry himself with an air others (and you) may perceive as arrogance or aloofness, but then turn around and offer heartfelt assistance with no expectation of thanks and will go beyond anyone's expectations in being of service to others, completely perplexing and confounding the envy, jealously and hatred many will have for him. You cannot help feeling intimidated by him, yet at the same time he gives you absolutely no tangible reason either by his actions or deeds that he could be anything but 100% trustworthy and dependable. In short, he is a Man you can count on to do right by you, even if you hate him and have done him wrong.
Ultimately, a man who has a masculine bearing is not a man you can put into a convenient, stereotypical box.
He is not alpha. He is not beta.
He simply IS.
A Man, capital M, that is.
You have probably already noticed that while I have split the traits of building a masculine standard into five aspects, they will all eventually merge into one cohesive whole in time.
Speech is very big component to building a masculine standard. After dress and bearing/posture, when a man opens his mouth, his true character is laid bare for all to see. Silence is golden for a reason. Not because a man is disconnected from himself or others and unable to communicate, but because so much 'talk' in the feminist 21st century is sheer, utter, complete bullshit.
When a man speaks, it must be for only the following reasons:
- to make someone laugh and spread the joy of life and living
- to inspire someone to become a better person and have hope for the future
- to warn that a potential act/deed may harm said person or another
- to reveal truth and fact, to educate, to inform
- to make allies and friends in a world where it is increasingly more difficult to find any
- to blast pompous egos, pretenders to confidence and authority, with wit, sarcasm and irony in front of others to expose frauds, hucksters and oppressive personalities for what they are - shadows and dust and of no value for anyone to take seriously
When you lack a masculine standard for your life, your speech will also have no bounds. You will engage in all manner of gossip mongering, of huckstering and hustle, of ego promotion and false male bravado and bluster. Your friends will not take you seriously because you seriously don't care what comes out of your mouth. Women may very well fall all over you because you speak, and thus act, more like a woman than a man. But in the end, after your true character has shown through, all will shun and disown you, never ever giving you trust or respect for the rest of your life.
Speech is the only aspect of your masculinity that is 100% under your control.
You can't 100% control how others perceive you based on your physical appearance or the clothes you wear, but you can change minds and hearts with but the utterance of words which only you can decide to let forth from your lips. While you are a young man, you will naturally fall prey to desiring to build your ego and name in the eyes of other men and especially women. But in time, as you grow and mature, you will realize that the men around you who continue to speak and act as if they had never left adolescence, will prove to you that...
A boy becomes a man when he ceases to engage in childish speech.
From this day forth, listen to how other men talk. Do you want to talk like them? How would you have said what they did differently? Are there men who speak in a way you respect? How would you talk to them to gain their respect?
This will be the most difficult trait of setting a masculine standard for yourself.
How do you react to the world? To people, to family and friends, to situations beyond your control? Your reaction to the world will display your masculinity, the standard you have set for yourself, in the way you walk, talk and act as you navigate life and the pursuit of your goals and dreams.
Calmness is the root of a true and authentic masculine presence.
Which is not to say that there is no place for emotional displays of outrage, of disgust, of anger or any other emotion. You are a human being and will have emotional reactions to the world. But on any given day, you should be training your mind to react in a calm manner to whatever comes your way in life.
Your girlfriend cheats on you?
Delete here phone number and move on.
Your boss rips into you once again for his incompetence that he is always blaming on you?
Decide if this is the final time and if so, give your two weeks notice or simply quit that day and walk out, leaving him and that stage of your life behind you.
Your best friend has borrowed money for an investment that, in hindsight, you now realize he never had any intention of paying back.
Realize that best friends are best kept in the light that they are human and fallible. Try to get your money back and if not, simply move on. If he contacts you again, be polite, be friendly even if you wish, but never be angry or let anger dominate your thoughts. Recalibrate the level of friendship you wish to retain, if any.
Anger is going to be your single most visceral enemy to leading a masculine standard of calm reaction toward life.
If you let anger get the best of you, it will destroy you and all those you love. The reaction trait of building a masculine standard is entirely emotional. It will be your emotional response to life that will in turn instinctively inspire your reaction and thus actions.
This is why a man's emotional control over himself is a key indicator of his masculine development.
When a man takes control of his emotional state, and thus his reactions to life events, he is taking control of himself in the most powerful way possible - he is not letting outside forces dictate his reality. This is why every woman, every one, will test a man's emotional control over himself. She wants to know that YOU are capable of staying in control of yourself to take control of any situation you will encounter in life.
To begin to build a more masculine reaction to the world, start by first not reacting at all.
When something happens to you, just let it happen.
Your girlfriend starts going batshit crazy?
Watch her melt down and smile.
A retard cuts you off on the way to work?
Watch him go by and most likely watch him again as you pass by the accident he gets into only a mile down the road.
Start to watch life as if it was a movie, not something that is real.
Soon, you will begin to react in a calm and reasoned way to everything life throws at you because you are not emotionally or egotistically attached to what just happened, just a spectator enjoying the ride. You won't be flying off the emotional cliff anymore. You will be entering into your masculine standard of calm reaction to the stuff of life.
Shit happens. You deal with it.
Bliss happens. You celebrate it.
Your reaction to the world is now under your control, not your emotions or anyone else who tries to push your buttons. Soon you will realize how little, how few, of the people around you have such control over their reactions to life and this will inspire you even more to control your respones to life events, not let them control you.
What is your world and are you living in it?
When the first four traits of building a masculine standard come together, they will combine to make the fifth - your world as a man. The daily space you live in inside your head and outside in the world.
Once you create a world of masculine standards for yourself, it goes with you everywhere and everyone will notice it.
You won't be someone who dresses like others do, you will have your own style.
You won't be someone who walks, talks or acts like other men, because you won't walk, talk or act like any man they have met before.
Your ways will be peculiar to them. They will be devoid of the flattery, bravado and false pretentions of every other man they have ever met. In fact, you may very well get two complete strangers telling you that you are two completely different people. That... is how singular your unified presence will become. Everyone you meet will project onto you what they want to believe you are, and none of them will get you right. Your world will seem, especially in the feminist 21st century, to be very mature and adult! You are not a whiner, a complainer, an anger bomb, a cry baby, a finger pointer, a blamer, a conniver, a downer, an asshole, a braggart, a hustler, a loud mouth, a...
There won't be any label they can pin on you because...
You will be a Man, capital M.
And the ladies... will love you for being one.
You have now built the five traits of having a masculine standard for yourself.
You will never be forgotten.
Strength & Honor