The only way I am going to gain any credibility in the manosphere is if I write from personal, lived experience. What I have to say about man and masculinity strays from the Game / Alpha Male view that concludes being a man is about whether or not you are successful getting a woman to have sex with you. I have never viewed myself through that lens and I don't think I am alone, but I am most definitely in the minority.
The masculine effect is not about getting lucky and getting laid.
I have had, in my now 40 plus years on this earth, about 25 years of observation and interaction with the ladies. Unlike the majority of the manosphere blogs you will read, I am endlessly fascinated by women. Yes, the vast majority of western women are not worth even looking at in terms of a relationship anymore, but still, they are women. Once you get old enough you realize that all women are, for the most part, operating under the same prime directive that they hypocritically project onto all men - the urge to merge. This is where "All men are pigs." comes from.
It is not we men who are the rutting, sex obsessed gender, it is the ladies!!!
If you are wise in the ways of the female, you will have come to this rare and uncommon truth about them - sex, the drive to procreate, is far, far, far stronger in females than males. The female MUST mate. Biologically, it is not an option. And she can't mate with just ANY man, it must be THE BEST MAN she can get.
We guys love to boast about having sex, wanting sex, thinking about sex. Studies show men do think about sex more than women, but when the chips are down, it is the ladies that drive the species forward. Why? Their biology MUST engage the male. A woman only has ONE egg per month, for a limited time span, to create and pass on genes. While we men can spray and pray, a female cannot because she has far, far, far more investment in the game; the female is the gender that CREATES the next generation and BIRTHS it. Therefore, the female is the one with the higher drive to succeed in propagating genes, not the male. Reflect on this deeply the next time you wonder why so many men are ok with their hobbies and personal pursuits instead of trying to learn how to hold frame and pass shit tests.
Put simply, women have more responsibility in the gene game.
Men play at sex while women get down to business.
That may sound like I am stating the obvious, but the subtlety of it is usually missed and definitely underestimated.
Once you realize that all a man does, biologically speaking, is provide the spark of life, his more cavalier attitude toward sex and children becomes readily apparent. It also becomes apparent why women are obsessed with soap operas and gossip - genes in competition. While we men also compete and some of us gossip like women, any man will know immediately that we do not gossip or compete like the ladies do. Two women fighting is called a cat fight for a reason - these girls mean business and they take no prisoners when it comes to landing Mr. Big.
The female obsession with relationships in their social circle (and outside it) is splashed on the covers of almost every magazine at your local grocer. Guys don't buy that shit, women do. The reason they do is their obsession with who is dating who and, most importantly, who just got who pregnant.
This is a world the male rarely, if ever, sees or understands. It has only been because of my fascination with woman that I have been allowed to see a glimpse of this world and come to understand it. This has led me down a different path than your average guy and is the reason this blog will not be about getting laid. I am not in the rabbit hole or merely swallowed the Red Pill, I have come out the other side in Wonderland - Womanverse.
The man who does not understand woman will forever be under her control, whether he has mastered the art of Game or not.
Maximus, we [i.e. women] can't love you because you understand us. [i.e. women.]
Cute Russian Blonde
The context of this quote is important.
I had taken a young lady with me out to a family wedding. No, we were not dating nor having sex. I had initially asked a beautiful Latino girl who said she would go, but at the last minute could not. This Russian blonde, ever the talkative one, discovered a) the wedding and b) I had asked another girl to go with me. She seemed pretty upset about this. Strange I thought, since we were only just friends, but she was growing on me. In the end, I asked her to go and she eagerly agreed!!! She was ecstatically looking forward to it. Again, we were not dating and no sex between us occurred, but that does not mean nothing was going on between us.
In not always focusing on sexing a woman, you can see her modus operandi from a cool distance with a rational perspective.
It was on the drive back from the wedding that she let out the above observation about me. She also said, in relation to others that, while everyone was piled together being who they are in this corner (the majority), Maximus was "Waaaaaaayyyyyyy over here." as she used her hands to emphasize the distance between me and everyone else (and I suspect most men in her life).
It took me awhile to figure out what she meant. She clearly meant it as a compliment, but I was puzzled as to why at the time. When we finished the trip, living in the same apartment building, she had a distinct air of "mission accomplished." I.e. I was a man on her radar and she had concluded this trip was sufficient observation to decide I was not one she would pursue.
When I say pursue, I am not talking about sex, dating or even marriage,
I am talking about propagating genes, having children.
To this end, I was of the same opinion about her.
Odd is it not? For a fun, friendly and 'just friends' road trip to end on such a peculiar note for both of us? This is why I will be repeating, ad nauseam, that successfully having sex with a woman does not make you alpha or a some sex god. It is whether or not she wants to have actual, physical children with you. And for that, you must have her respect, and be just a little intimidating. This is assuming of course she wants to keep you around. If all she wants is your seed... well... I am sure you know plenty of guys with that problem. They are now affectionately called "baby dadies" by these matriarchal women.
What do I mean by this? What kind of respect? How are you intimidating?
The opening image to this post is from Gladiator. I had to take the photograph myself off my Blu Ray edition because this shot was nowhere to be found on the internet. In a single frame, the root of the masculine effect is on full HD display.
The masculine effect has everything to do with how much respect and intimidation you have among all woman you meet.
When I say respect, I mean just that.
She respects your personhood, your manhood, your decisions and your life.
By intimidation, I do not mean for her physical or emotional safety. Real masculine intimidation to a female means she is as scared of being rejected by you as she is intoxicated of being chosen by you. This is not a matter of Game and which women do or do not respond to you. I am talking about all women, the feminine, and how they react to you, the masculine, in terms of her wanting to push forward genes into the future with you.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I realize that sex = genes = children. I am not contradicting my own argument. The point I am making here is that there is sex for sex's sake (she likes you, you gamed her, you got lucky) and then there is sex for children. The first leads to 'accidents' (i.e. pregnancy). The second leads to children (i.e. legacy). What separates the one (pregnancy) from the other (legacy) is BOTH the male and the female searching for a viable and workable partnership for MUTUAL LONG TERM SUPPORT of their offspring. Keep this note in mind as you read on.
This is what we are watching take place in a woman's mind and heart in that scene from Gladiator when Lucilla and her attendant see Maximus for the first time.
Respect... and a little later on when they first converse outside the Emperor's tent, intimidation.
Even in another language, the subtext of communication is clear.
This respect and intimidation seems to have become part and parcel of my life in regard to women.
Maximus? He's tall, bright, stands out.
Cute Russian Blonde
I paraphrase here, but this was another observation made by this Russian girl when we were out on a beach with a group over a long weekend. I can't remember why or how this comment came up, but I will never forget it. The awe with which this was said about me, while also trying to make it sound like a friendly, complimentary joke, was palpable. What struck my mind was "Wow! This girl's been watching me from afar for a long time and has CLEARLY come to a conclusion about my MASCULINE PRESENCE."
The Russian Blonde was not the only one.
Yea, I know!!! For FOUR YEARS we have been crossing paths. "There's that Maximus guy. There he is again!
When am I going to get a chance to talk to Maximus. Sure would like to talk to that guy."
French-Spanish brunette combo to die for
This woman had been watching me, taking note of when we cross paths socially, FOR FOUR FREAKING YEARS, just for the CHANCE to talk to me.
Just to TALK to me. Do you get that? Has that ever happened to you?
In those four years, we had met about as many times. Maybe four or five. I noticed her right away, but she had a boyfriend and I don't steal women from other men, even if I knew how. The funny thing is, I did not have to even try to Game this women. She was already radar locked onto me. As for my view, she was just a sexy girl I made a mental note of whenever we crossed paths but never gave her a second's thought after that. I never thought about this woman at all, while she was keeping track of the number of times our paths crossed for four years. We did end up spending some time together after she broke up with her boyfriend. The above admission is an almost verbatim repeat of a conversation we had in my car about us finally getting a chance to 'hang out'. I fell for her pretty hard. Ultimately, I believe my "failure" with this girl came down to the same issue as with the Russian Blonde.
My not making their pay grade as K-selection material.
I.e. provider guy.
I was trying to start my own business and was in between pay-the-bills jobs when I spent time with this lady. One night in the car, when I remarked that I was still looking for work, she said to me...
"You're still not working?!?!"
My employment status, or lack of it, was clearly important to her.
Again, you must remember.
We are just two 'friends', a male and a female, 'hanging out.'
Not fucking. Not even kissing.
But for some reason, there is always this subtle undercurrent at play. At play because while not stated overtly, we were clearly both evaluating each other as suitable partners.
Partners for what?
For a short term fling?
For a practice relationship? (she just dumped that guy and began to hang out with me)
For an ego boost? (i.e. to not be a dreaded single person, she had PLENTY of other guy 'friends' for that purpose)
No... none of those immature and petty reasons.
We were both looking to the future, to propagating genes, to having children.
And we both approached THAT game VERY seriously.
Hence, my experience with women will be night and day different from the average Game practitioner who is primarily thinking about getting laid when interacting with women.
This topic of provision and my lack of stable employment at the time became a surprising, to me, point of contention in our pleasant conversation up to that point. And the point of contention came from her!!! It was not just shock she expressed, but a sort of manipulative displeasure and anger in her tone that I picked up.
I think you know EXACTLY what tone I am talking about.
"You're SUPPOSED to be working for me damn it!!! Why are you not out making money for me to spend?!?!"
What is important to note at this point about these two women in my life in terms of masculinity is this:
- These two women had been watching me from afar for years.
- They had me on their radar. I was a prospect, a serious one.
- Game had NOTHING to do with getting these women's attention. I barely knew them and would say we were casual acquaintances at best before I spent any time with them.
- I did not Game any of these women.
- While my looks/height may have played a role, there are better looking guys, and better prospects in terms of status/finance, these girls could have focused on instead of spending any time with me.
- They RESPECTED me enough to be HONEST in answering personal questions about themselves and about me.
That last point, honesty and respect in personal interation, is something almost NO man ever gets from a woman he has any romantic/sexual context with.
Which is not to say I have never been lied to by a woman - they all do. But sometimes, for men they respect, you get the straight goods. I received a lot of straight goods from women in terms of feedback about what they thought of me on a man/male/masculine level that I don't think other men will ever get to receive.
Why do I say a woman's respect and intimidation of you is so vitally important to your masculinity?
The masculine effect has EVERYTHING to do with how women perceive you.
And I am not talking about if you are 'alpha' or not in their eyes.
I am talking the real business of mating - children, gene propagation, is the ultimate litmus test.
I was putting these women through MY litmus test, every second of their time with me.
THIS is the core of the masculine effect.
Note... this is 100% opposite to not only the way men think about the gene game, but also the way women do! That said, you need to keep in mind that a woman will have children with a man for any number of reasons. The last of them.... the LEAST of them... because she respects him. Hence, the always hovering around 50% divorce rate. I believe this is why so many women are openly hostile to the father of their children. She compromised. She WANTED better, but could not get it. If she wanted children, she was forced to SETTLE... for you.
A woman who settles for a man she does not respect is FOREVER UNHAPPY about her relationship.
Again, this is not something men really think about. When men have children with a woman, in general terms, they are doing so with a woman they do love, or at least like enough to believe she will be a good wife and mother. Men I think are far better at living with compromise in a partner than women are, but that is just my opinion. Maybe it's just me, but I cannot believe a man would have children with a woman he hates. If you had to place a bet, with real money, that a woman or a man would have children with someone they hated, my bet's on the woman.
Fathering children with someone they openly, or secretly, hate and loathe is only possible in the female of the species. A grand generalization to be sure, but all you have to do is ask a divorced man about the satanic demon their 'loving' wife transforms into right before their very eyes, the woman who gave birth to his children, to come to an intuitive understanding of this uncommon truth.
This is why even if you Game her, even if she is writhing in sexual pleasure beneath you, even if she has your children, that does NOT mean she respects you.
And if you don't have her respect...
I have talked to enough divorced men in my life to know that if you have ONLY one rule of for women it is this.
She must always, ALWAYS, respect you.
From day, fucking, one.
This... is the masculine effect.
You want to create the kind of respect and awe (intimidation) in a woman's mind that leads her to not just believe, but KNOW she is being allowed, BLESSED, to have YOUR children.
Read that again. Think on it deeply.
When you come to adopt this frame of mind, your entire approach to women completely changes.
Suddenly, you are not looking at women in terms of slut indicators for a quick fuck.
You will be looking at women with an eye for one thing and one thing only:
Is she the best QUALITY female for me to push my genes forward into the future with?
From this perspective, all thoughts and conclusions in your newly masculinized brain are 100% counter to all Game theory about being successful with women in the manosphere today. It is a perspective that is entirely alien to most men. Hence, I find myself alone when in any room of men. Single or married, master player/alphas or chump nice guy losers, none of them have the effect I do on women.
That may sound like the most arrogant and deluded bullshit you have ever heard.
I don't care.
I have had enough experience around YOUR girlfriends and wives to KNOW - not believe, not dream, not imagine - KNOW I am not bullshitting myself.
What is the difference between myself and 99% of other men?
I approach women like a sniper tracking a target.
I am not interested in quick lays, hook-ups, one-night stands.
Yes, feminism. Yes contraception. Yes the loosening of sexual morals of women. All of this opens up a cornucopia of free sex for the man that learns Game.
But have you asked yourself... does she want to have your children?
Or is she just sexing you because you 'alpha-ed' her but good?
Are you just a convenient, easy-to-manipulate dildo for her own narcissistic ego masturbation?
Because 9 times out of 10, you are. Even if you are balls deep in her, you are just a tool my friend because I have seen what happens to those sexy alpha male playboys with women in the long run. As any jaded man of Game well knows, women are just as capable, if not MORE capable, of anonymous and promiscuous sex as men are. It is after all, their very nature.
Women are 100% sexual creatures.
But most men will never understand, let alone believe, this is true.
The difference between me and 99% of men, alpha males or sexless nice guys, is that I ALWAYS LOOK AT A WOMAN WITH THE EYES OF A MAN LOOKING FOR THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN.
Ask yourself this question about the last three women you have had sex with.
Would you want to have children with any one of them?
I can answer that for you already... no, you would not.
The vast majority, if not ALL, of the women you have had sex with you would never have children with.
Now... ask yourself this follow up question.
If you are the kind of male, man, that will sex just about anything just because you can, what does that say about you TO HER?
Do not look at this from a moral perspective. Morality is not the question here.
The lens you need to focus with in order to answer this question is genes... children.
If contraceptives and the prevention of pregnancy was not so widely available, I think it is safe to say a lot of women would not be fucking the man they are right now, and that includes you. It may seem like we have had contraception and the birth control pill forever, but we are talking about barely 50+ years here. Not even the contemplation of a blink of the eye in time. That is how new this game of free-for-all sex is to males and females. Since Game focuses so much on evo-psyche, reflect on my masculine perspective in those terms.
Are you really 'alpha' if you are fucking women indiscriminently, with no thought toward, and even rejection of, the idea of having your children with her?
Now let's turn back to Gladiator.
Maximus, it is clear, is not your typical Roman 'alpha' male.
He is married. Devoted to his wife and son. He has picked the best woman for gene propagation and hooked his wagon to her womb. This is clearly indicated in the films symbolic images of the beautiful, perfect, devoted wife and mother waiting at home for Maximus to return from war and go back to the harvest and become a simple husband and father once again. During the course of the film, it is clear Lucilla and Maximus may have had something going on during an earlier part of their lives, but that she burned him. Two hearts, in fact, were hurt, but his possibly more than hers.
What is important about the relationship dynamic between Lucilla and Maximus is this - as one of the lines in the movie states, Lucilla NEVER forgot about Maximus.
This was BEFORE he became "the great general", not after. She NEVER forgot him from his humble beginnings to now.
Why is that?
Sure, he is technically 'alpha' now, the right hand general of the Emperor of Rome. A superficial Game reading of Lucilla's interest in Maximus would stop at that level of understanding.
The deeper level is this.
Lucilla already knew what kind of Man - capital M - Maximus was. A man who wanted THE BEST female to mate with to be the MOTHER of his children.
A devoted husband. A loving father.
A man of integrity, honesty, truth and warrior spirit to fight for ideals - the dream that was once Rome - and thus ensure the future will be a good one for her children.
Maximus had no patience or time for women who played games with his future genetic legacy. Hence, his comment about his inability to acquire the ease of lying that Lucilla says she was forced to adopt and incorporate into her life in order to survive.
Think on this deeply.
The sniper perspective of dating and mating is what truly makes a man a Man, capital M.
With the sniper method, you are purposely and deliberately putting EVERY FEMALE though the genetic fitness test.
Right from the beginning - first glimpse, first eye contact and first hello.
Reflect on this deeply.
The PUA and Game perspective is valid (i.e. r-selection), but it is a shotgun approach to mating and passing on genes.
Even they admit Game is not about the long term but about getting off now, and is a valid mating strategy for some men.
I can agree with this. But I would ask them and you...
Is it alpha?
I say no.
R-selection game works because you will find a lot of women, not unsurprisingly, who are so desperate to mate they will engage in slutty (i.e. r-selected) behaviour and risk pregnancy. Especially if that male can IMITATE 'alpha' behaviour.
And this is what we see now in the western female - full on desperate slutty behaviour.
All that success in sexing women with Game truly illustrates is this - two people who are not confident enough to hold out and wait until they find the best mate to have children with.
Yes, many times, that pregnancy risk may be with an 'alpha' male. One with power, money, status, etc. But most of the time it is not - it's with adventure sex guy, the lowest investment, least future oriented of the male species.
Does the female respect either one of these men?
These 'alpha's' get divorced (or adventure sex guy replaced) at the drop of a hat. They never learn, because they don't want to learn.
Even though a man may be technically alpha, the women know he is indiscriminate in his choice of female and that he can be manipulated by her feminine charms.
Maximus... the movie... this writer... cannot be manipulated.
Not by any woman.
Hence... "We can't love you." Woman-ese translation? We women can't control you in our reproductive game, so to hell with you!
Both the high status alpha and the low-hanging fruit r-selection practitioner are one and the same male in the eyes of women - unwise, indiscriminate mate choice.
Unwise. Indiscriminate. Mate choice.
Now... if THAT does not sound like the dictionary definition of the modern, feminist liberated, "empowered" western woman, I don't know what does.
If a man is more selective, a woman does not have so easy a time in bedding him. Hence, the dark and erotic arts of the female. Lipstick. Low cut dress. Pouty lips, pushed up tits, 3-inch stilettos that allow her ass to drive his RATIONAL mind into his DICK with but a turn of the waist.
Ha! All alpha males think they are the ones in control of women having sex with them. It is to laugh.
Think on this deeply.
The male women truly want to have children with is the man T&A does not work on.
And those men... are very, very very rare.
No, he's not gay, despite what the women will obviously assume about him.
He is simply, matter-of-factly, NOT guided by the brain below his belt.
He is thinking about the future, his children's future, and the female he will choose to push those genes into the future with.
If you can become THIS man, you will have discovered the masculine effect.
But how many men want to sniper select the women they want to date and get to know better? How many men will, upon seeing the above beautiful women who are CLEARLY using their sexuality to ensnare the male, who are CLEARLY out to 'bag an alpha' (i.e. gold diggers, or just a man they can control), can resist, let alone turn his back, on such an enchanting and alluring female and the prospect of having sex with her?
See? Even stating it like that proves my point.
A truly masculine man will DUMP a woman WITHOUT having sex with her with no mercy or second thought of going back for a quick dip.
She is not the one to have his children.
This... is the root of the masculine effect.
If men today were more selective, women would have more respect for them. In fact, I just had an epiphany. What if all the difficulty in relations with Western females comes down to just this - men... have stopped ALL selective judgement of the female and will fuck anything they can get their dick into? Why are Western females welcoming Muslim "refugees" with open arms? Is it perhaps, perhaps, because these men are some of the most judgemental of all men on the planet when it comes to women? Misogyny... is sexy... because at its ROOT is judgement of the female, making the male the master, not the slave, of the female.
Since men are not discriminating in the 21st century, it should not surprise any man that women have such low respect for and are wholly dishonest with them.
Women have no reason to respect or fear you because you are not exercising your masculine prime directive to select the very best female for yourself.
To separate the wheat from the chaff. The diamond in the rough. The gold in the pan.
I think you can understand now why I don't fit the typical r-selection/k-selection, provider or lover, Red Pill / Game paradigm.
I think I have illustrated why the women in my life have reacted so very different to me.
I am not an 'alpha' male.
I am not a nice guy.
I am not a jerk.
I am not an asshole.
I am not a push over, a chump, a manipulatable ATM at the drop of her panties.
She can't put me into a single one of the neat and tidy guy boxes that most of the men in her life fit into as she runs down her mental check list.
I fit into the ONE box she does not have and has never encountered, a box she has no idea how to deal with.
I am a Man, capital M.
And she knows... I know it.
Think on this deeply.
Strength & Honor