The problem with many men today, young and old, is not new and has been written about before. Men have stopped dreaming, and in doing so they have stopped striving. The desire to turn a dream into reality is what defines a patriarchal culture and Man. To live what you want for your life, in this life, not a life you could have had if you had only pursued your dreams. This week, we take a look at some advice by one man I think everyone can agree united dream and day.
I am currently reading Arnold's life story Total Recall. I'm about half way though it and can see already why this book is so highly recommended. Arnold does not hold anything back. Which is why I am going to start talking about uniting dream and day not with a success story, but with a lapse in judgement and self-control.
No man is perfect. When a great man screws up, we should pay attention and learn the lesson.
Arnold's fathering of a child outside his marriage was not, by any stretch of the imagination, a very bright move, professionally or personally. Even he knows this, which is why in any public address he has had on the subject he looks truly regretful of his actions. This... is the problem of pussy. It is so alluring, even a man of iron will and steel self-discipline like Arnold can be left vulnerable and open to screwing up when his brain descends below his belt. While he may regret his actions, Arnold's CORE BELIEFS AND VALUES still ring true and are lessons for us all.
"I hate going back to the past."
This was a key point Arnold made in an interview he gave to ABC regarding this affair as he did the media circuit to promote Total Recall. If you are going to dream about how you want your life to be in the future, you must realize you are going to make mistakes, but must never focus on them to the point of turning your mistakes into anchors that weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward.
Which sadly is what has become of the Red Pill and the hyper-focus of the manosphere on how feminism has destroyed western culture and the "future" of men in it. I want this blog to be an optimistic watering hole for young men in the feminist 21st century. We still need to be realistic in our understanding of the world we live in, but like Arnold, I want to look forward, to the future, and not dwell on the past once the lesson has been learned.
When you look to your future, what do you see?
I once wrote a leter to my future self. It was my personal exercise in dreaming a life for my future. The trouble with dreaming is, we have to believe it. As Arnold says in the opening video above, if you don't believe in your dream, who will? I wanted to make concrete, as real as possible with as much detail as possible, what kind of life I wanted for myself in the future no matter how fantastic or impossible it might sound.
Dreaming is not the time to be realistic.
If you are not dreaming big, why dream at all?
Everyone around you in life will tell you that you must be practical, realistic.
What those well meaning individuals are really saying to you is this:
"We don't want you to succeed THAT much."
For they will never outright say they want to see you fail. Their real fear is not that you will succeed, but that you will succeed spectacularly. If you do, it will prove to them that they were wrong and you were right to believe in yourself and your dreams.
This is exactly what Arnold writes about in his book.
If don't have a dream for your life right now, Arnold's story above will be great fertilizer and inspiration. But, I do have a caveat, one which Arnold never talks about in any interview and I suspect not even in his book.
I don't want you to think you can do anything.
No one person can do absolutely anything they want, but what is absolutely 100% true is that we are all born to do SOMETHING. You have to find that something for your life. As a man, this is vitally important.
Your dream for your life must be, in some small way, connected to reality.
Arnold had been given a set of muscular genetics, coupled with strength of will, that allowed him to capitalize on what God, the universe, had given him. But in order to capitalize on his unique gifts, he still had to recognize them within himself and dream something great for his life.
And then one day, I saw the cover of a magazine of Reg Park. And it says, how Mr. Universe became Hercules. I opened up this magazine and I read through it... and there was... the whole plan... laid out.
It may sound hard to believe, but Arnold was mocked mercilessly by his peers. Which is par for the course for someone who decides they won't be bothered trying to fit in by doing the same thing everyone else is doing.
What causes this spark?
Who is to say? Some get it early in life, as Arnold did. Others acquire the spark over time with experience and decide they want something more than to simply blend in and be accepted as being "like everyone else."
It does not matter WHEN you start dreaming, but that you START!
And once you start dreaming...
The real key to Arnold's success, as he himself has said repeatedly in many interviews, is WILL.
I said to myself... Here's the goal, and whatever it takes to get there, I will do it.
The will to succeed.
He was determined to "get out of there." "There" being the same rut-and-road to becoming an adult that 99% of the people you meet will fall into. They do as they are told, follow the rules and strive their utmost to become accepted amongst their peers and so-called-and-believed-to-be superiors. The spark for Arnold was being inspired by what someone else did with their life. But Reg Park was not just some anyone else. Reg Park did something incredible with his life and, as is commonly said, great people always lean on those that came before them.
Alexander The Great was only following "the plan" laid out in The Iliad, the life of Achilles. He kept a copy of this great epic poem by his bedside at all times.
So too Arnold kept a vision of his dream, of his goal, of being like Reg Park on stage at the Mr. Universe, forever in front of him, in his mind.
He was the only one DREAMING of something great for his life.
He was the only one who BELIEVED something great would happen if he tried.
He was the only one who ACTED on his belief that an amazing future was in store for him.
Everyone else told him to give up. Stop dreaming.
Every. Single. Person.
The naysayers will always be among us, but once you start to dream, once you have an idea for what you want your life to become....
You must crystallize the dream as clearly as possible and then decide to go for it and hold nothing back.
I think what is incredible about finding this short 12 min doc on Arnold's life is that I recognized a lot of myself in his words. My first dream was to become self-employed as a small business owner. I spent an entire decade of my life pursuing this dream. I was willing to do anything to achieve my goal and I did everything possible that I wanted to do and could think of doing to succeed.
But I failed.
I failed because while my first dream was in line with my natural gifts and talents, it may not be my life's calling. During that decade of trying to build my own business I was voraciously swallowing the Red Pill and waking up. I started to read and read a lot. I also started to write. No, not for blogs or even a book. I started to write just for myself.
What is key to note about my story is I did not stop dreaming with the failure of my first business. I still have a goal, to become something more than I ever thought possible, to become as independent and wealthy, to my expectations, as possible. I just changed tracks and means of getting there.
Another lesson to take from this is if you are reading and dreaming of becoming a blogger, be sure you are prepared for failure.
Blogging, writing a book, may not be your unique calling.
It is your uniqueness that you must build on that will focus your will to transform your dream into your day.
... and went out and my posing was very clumsy. And then we got called out again on stage and again on stage... and I felt more and more confident that I am in the top 3, because every time I posed, there is much more, applause. So, I started playing with the audience. Sure enough, when they announced number 3, number 2 and... I was the winner. I just couldn't believe it.
It was one of those important moments because I realized THAT I WAS NOT DREAMING. They've never heard of me and they picked me. So I must have something that is unique.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
You have to have something unique about yourself.
We all do.
Your unique greatness may not be so great as to launch a body building career or become a hollywood movie star, but you do have something unique about you and only YOU have that uniqueness. If you have not found YOUR great uniqueness yet... start looking!!! While my path is still in the search phase, that struggle in the darkness by yourself when you have only yourself to push you on, I am truly beginning to gain the confidence that my writing is truly unique. This, God willing, is what will bring me my future unbelievable success.
I believe the book I am writing will be as revolutionary as Charles Darwin's Origin of Species.
If not dreaming, that most certainly sounds delusional, but I want to see this dream to the end, success or failure, or as far as I want to take it. I simply must try. I will go all out to see it succeed... until the day I decide I want to succeed at something else (think in this deeply).
When you reflect on that above statement, just to state that - to say you want to write a book that will be as impactful on humanity as Darwin's was - is tantamount to blasphemy now in The West. The western world is constantly dumbing down and suppressing natural raw masculine imagination to create, to evolve, to expand, to grow and to push the human race forward. Imagine, in The West, a man is now considered insane, delusional and irrational if he believes he can change the course of history for the better.
Maybe I am delusional. Maybe I am insane. Like Arnold, like anyone pursuing their dreams, I have my doubts.
I had my doubts. This caused me sleepless nights. I asked myself. Arnold? What is it about you? That is so... different? Why are you the only one that sees it so clearly, this goal... going to America, winning the Mr. Universe contest and getting into movies... making millions of dollars. No one else talks about this around here.
Is it real? Is it just a crazy fantasy?
But, wait a minute... Reg Park did it!!! Then it's possible.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
This is where I am now. It is so surreal what I am doing right now. When you start on your path to success and greatness, no matter how large or small your dream is, you too will begin to have doubts about yourself.
The key to blasting through doubt as you pursue your dream is to FOCUS!!!
Once you have a dream and set a goal for yourself, a vision for your life, don't get distracted by anything. Constantly visualize it. Keep improving its clarity. Literally, with your mind, live your dream.
That is what I am doing with mine. One blog post a week. Constant effort toward the goal. Keep writing and when I look back, maybe like Arnold's win at his first body building contest, I will see that yes, yes... I AM NOT DREAMING and that will give me the courage and determination to keep moving forward to ultimate success.
Feedback from the real world, to keep moving forward, is a very important point that no one, no life hack or motivational speaker will ever really talk about. Everyone is too busy selling you THEIR recipe for success, not the real possibility of failure. That... is not the purpose of this blog or my writing.
I want you to find YOUR success, not mine.
So, I am going to tell you something that no one else will, not even Arnold.
You must have a big win at some point as you pursue your dream.
It must be a big win, FOR YOU, to believe in your dream and the goal you have set for yourself. Or perhaps it need only be a few small successive wins that add up to a big one. The warning in this is paradoxical, but here it is: a little success can actually be a curse. It can keep you going in the wrong direction for a long time. Believe me, I have lived it. So you must sit down with your dream and define and write down what is your big win to gauge progress on the path toward your dream life becoming reality. If you have not achieved X goal by Y time, you need to seriously sit down and re-evaluate what your dream is and if it is emerging into reality.
Arnold never talks about this. While he talks about a lot of failures and setbacks in his book, he achieved success with his first dream. He had doubts, yes, but he got feedback from the real world that he was on the right track.
Personally, I wonder if Arnold has ever considered what he would have done if he had not won that first body building contest?
If it was THAT BIG A DEAL to win it (and clearly it was), for his confidence in himself and his ability to reach his dream, what would LOSING have meant to him?
Remember, he was only 19. Yes, lots of confidence, but in taking such a huge risk, to leave the Austrian military barracks and face solitary confinement for up to a week if caught... would losing the contest, having built up in his mind how important the contest was for his future dreams...
Would he have kept going?
Would he be the world wide name in movies and politics he is today if he had lost?
We will never know.
I really hate all the rah-rah-sis-boom-bah of a lot of self-help, "level up your life" advice and "live your dream" type operators out there. They never, NEVER tell you you might actually fail. I mean REALLY FAIL!!!
So I am going to give you some uncommon advice in the hustle & money crowd...
You can't chase your dream forever.
You have to get some concrete feedback from the universe that this IS the path you should be walking to your unique success. If God, the universe, fate, whatever... forever seems to be putting your dream out of reach, no matter how many obstacles you overcome or how much will and effort you throw at it, it is not wrong to question your dream, to stop and re-evaluate. Perhaps even change your dream.
The goal here is not any SPECIFIC dream, but to ACHIEVE a dream that you AIM for.
If the current dream is not working out, as my last one did not, then dream up a new dream!!!
What I don't want you to do, which is really what I don't want myself to do as I type this, is to give up.
You MUST press forward.
You MUST keep dreaming.
Dream until you WIN!!!
Strength & Honor